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March 5, 2014

9/52

"a portrait of my son, once a week, every week, in 2014"

augustus: into every.little.thing. this day, it was toilet paper.

i think i am raising a mama's boy, though i can't be exactly certain. the only thing i know to be true is that there is no one else on this earth that needs to be held by my arms almost every minute of the day than him. that is both endearing and frightening, as the thought to be needed by someone so fragile catches my breath endlessly. the way he presses his tiny beautiful head into the bottom of my neck and cries out from confusion when i move into another room. the way i have to touch his face and bring him close to my heartbeat in order for him to sleep. this is frightening magic and i feel humble that it is i who holds his safe home.

we've been listening to this song on repeat in the car a lot, and i like to believe that chris' voice soothes his soul every bit as it does mine.  

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