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March 10, 2015

JUST ENOUGH


i've been making bargains with god lately, asking him to help me be the things i can't be easily on my own:

patient,
slow to react,
hopeful,
brave,
gentle.

(the list goes on. and on. and on)

and in return i offer obedience. and thankfulness. and all the things i should probably be already but am not.

just today, while i was in the middle of doing the dishes, augustus opened the fridge and down spilled the carton of apple juice and large container of strawberries and off came his diaper and down dribbled his pee. twice.

 no, this wasn't that difficult a moment. in fact, these are the quintessential blueprints to the moments of our days. it was just another moment of motherhood that i tuck away somewhere where i keep all the days of our lives, and keep going.

and there's a lot of messy, a lot of the time in that somewhere place.

so, right in the middle of doing the dishes and running to grab a new diaper and mopping up yet another spill, i just asked god to lend me just a little grace.

a little brave.

a little gentle.

a little patience.

and while it didn't come delivered in that moment, it came a bit later, after i had cried a bit. after the lipstick had already been smeared on the wall. after he ran out of the shower we were taking and just before his sixth attempt at nap time.

yes, six.

it came as i was slicing a pineapple i picked up on sunday morning because one, who doesn't love pineapple and two, pineapple. and i looked out my window and i said to myself,

wow, thank you for this. for all of this. for this fruit. for this window. for this chance to be at home and go through the rough days and the good days with Your child. for having a mom who i can text and ground me back down and for my favorite sweater that made me feel really really cozy and for the new kale that's sprouting and for the baby's breath on our table that makes me smile. and for the love note my husband left on top of my coffee cup this morning with a heart that had hands.

it came right then and there and it was just enough of a living prayer that i think i could have ever unknowingly asked for.

it was just enough of the very thing i needed.

/this woman and what she's doing. wow.
/ even more reasons to love kevin spacey (big fans over here)
/made this over the weekend and will be making this all summer to add to juices and whatnot

3 comments:

  1. Ahhhh sweetie those days are hard but you are so right in embracing them with a heart of thankfulness. You are so very blessed to have a Momma to lean on. I wish I had had that. You are a hidden beauty devoted to love selflessly. Keep calm and carry on....the life you are living matters so much. It is of great worth.

    How beautiful is the Tree Change. Thank you for sharing.

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  3. It hits me sometimes, in the middle of the busyness... I just pause and think - wow. Look at all this. This home. These children. That man there, loving us. The trees outside the window and the cool breeze coming in. All gifts from God. And the thankfulness sweeps over me and my heart spills over with gratitude. I blogged just this morning about my love for home... because in all honesty, home and family are all I'll ever need. Love your heart sweet Kerrie.
    Saminda x

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